


Be My Mistake

by Readvelvett



Category: Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: Angst, F/F, One-Sided Attraction, futa!wendy, no happy ending sorry, wendy has feelings for irene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:07:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23569552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Readvelvett/pseuds/Readvelvett
Summary: Joy knows she's only hurting herself, but with Wendy kissing her and filling her, there was little room for her to regret.
Relationships: Bae Joohyun | Irene/Son Seungwan | Wendy, Park Sooyoung | Joy/Son Seungwan | Wendy
Comments: 3
Kudos: 78





	1. Be My Mistake

**Author's Note:**

> Based off The 1975 “Be My Mistake”
> 
> Crossposted in AFF and Tumblr (both @Readvelvett)

“Turn the light off.”

Joy wet her lips as she breathed heavily, finger sliding over the light switch before navigating to her bed purely from memory. Her body was pulled onto the mattress quickly and into a warm body. Lips found her cheek, trailing up towards her ear and pressing gentle kisses to the shell of it.

“Be a good girl for me.”

Joy felt herself shiver as Wendy’s hot breath coated over her, her words sending shock waves to her core. She felt the tell tale wetness cling to her underwear and heat pool in her stomach. Cold hands snakes around her waist, trailing up and down her sides and leaving goosebumps in their wake. Soft lips smashed against hers and she sucked greedily. She was always greedy for Wendy, wanting everything Wendy was willing to give. 

She took without thought, and that extended to Wendy’s cock, buried deep inside of her and sending her into euphoria she had never felt before. Wendy gave her all to her, she stuffed her full and left her lips bruised with kisses. She gave her seed, spilling into Joy and claiming her body for herself. But Joy wasn’t fickle, she knew that Wendy had everything to give. Everything except her adoration, her affection. Wendy didn’t love her, she just loved her body. And if Joy has any dignity anymore, she wouldn’t be letting Wendy give so much when she can’t get what she actually wants. But Wendy nips at her neck and pumps into her just right and she’s coming, and all of her morals are out the window. Wendy’s heart belonged to someone else, that she knew, but Wendy fucked her food and well, Joy was never really one to complain.

-

“Wow unnie, those look good.”

Joy couldn’t help herself really, she enjoyed gazing at Wendy, especially from below the waist. And when the woman walked out of her room one morning in a fresh pair of jeans, Joy was thoroughly impressed. Her eyes landed on Wendy’s ass, the jeans really hugged her nicely and accentuated her behind. Joy was a sucker for her butt, perhaps more so than she was a sucker for her dick.

“Thanks Sooyoung.”

Wendy told her affectionately before walking down the hall, Joy knew exactly where she was going. Wendy must be in a good mood, she never talked to Joy so sweetly. If Wendy was happy, that could only mean one thing. 

“Those were a gift.”

Joy’s eyes moved to Yeri, the younger member’s eyes never leaving the tv. Joy just hummed unimpressed and bit down on her tongue until she tasted blood. Wendy was happy, and she knew exactly why.

-

She’s careful not to wake her temporary roommate as she enters the hotel room late in the night. Their lifestyle takes them to many places, and she’s always loved traveling. But the trip didn’t compare to the high she felt when she was with Wendy, tucked away in the woman’s hotel room having the life fucked out of her. Wendy wasn’t shy about being rough, and Joy certainly wasn’t shy about enjoying it. Her only complaint is that it doesn’t last, it never does. Wendy comes and she comes and then one of them is leaving. There’s no affection after, no kisses, no gentle caresses or cuddles. As much as she wishes for it, that’s not her job, it’s not her that Wendy wants to kiss and hold. 

She’s exhausted and ready to sleep away her emotional pain, but she smells strongly of sex and she doesn’t need Seulgi to catch on. A miserable cold shower full of self doubt later, and Joy was settling into the bed next to the snoring woman. She stared at the ceiling, tears springing to her eyes as she couldn’t stop the thoughts from settling. Her heart hurt, yearned for someone who would never return her affections. Wendy would never love her, just her body, and as much as it was fine in the start, Joy knew she wouldn't last this way forever. Every touch, every kiss, every orgasm broke her composure more and more, and she would eventually meet her breaking point. 

She was pulled from her thoughts when an arm sling around her waist and a warm body snuggled into her side. She wiped her tears quickly and forced herself to relax into the hold. Seulgi was soft and warm, Seulgi was kind and caring, and Seulgi would be the perfect partner. But Seulgi wasn’t Wendy and that’s what mattered. 

“I know you get lonely Sooyoung-ah, but please show some respect for yourself.”

Joy didn’t respond, Seulgi wasn’t looking for a response anyways. She fell asleep fast again, leaving Joy to grind her teeth in a vain attempt to stop her tears.

-

Joy hasn’t vocalized it before, and neither has a Wendy for that matter. But regardless of whether they talk about it or not, they both know the truth. It comes to a head one morning as Wendy’s brushing her teeth and Joy is retrieving an aspirin to soothe her headache. 

“What am I to you?”

She fumbled with the lid of the aspirin bottle, eyes not looking up to meet Wendy’s as the woman halts her movements, removing the toothbrush from her mouth.

“What do you mean?”

Wendy knows what she means, and Joy knows that she knows. But Joy also knows that Wendy wants her to say it, and damn her pride because she’s going to.

“We fuck, a lot. I clearly can get you going, so what am I to you.”

Joy finally turns to face her, gesturing down to Wendy’s sweatpants halfway through her statement. It would’ve made the older woman blush once upon a time, but her days of being bashful were long gone. She had no more shame, she had nothing except the desperate need to fill the void in her chest. She sighed and ran her toothbrush under the water to rid it of the foamy paste. 

“You do make me hard.”

A smug smile graced Joy’s lips as she poured the aspirin into her palm. 

“But she makes me weak.”

With that, Wendy spit out the rest of her toothpaste and wiped her mouth before she walked out of the bathroom and left Joy to her thoughts. She popped the aspirin into her mouth and bit down, if only the bitter pill could mask the bitterness she felt.

-

Yet despite her insistence that Joy isn’t the one, Wendy ends up in her bed at night, nipping at her neck and running her cold hands along the expanse of her exposed stomach. It’s her bed Wendy ends up in, it's her lips she bruises, it’s her body she worships, and it’s her walls that she fills with her hot seed. There’s nothing romantic about it, that’s not why Wendy’s here, but it’s hot and passionate and full of emotion. Joy takes more and more, she lets Wendy give without thought of repercussions. Wendy pumps into her fervently, and she opens her mouth to speak as a moan slips out, but Wendy kisses her hard and effectively silences her.

“Just be my mistake.”

Wendy whispers against her mouth hotly, breath tasting of cheap booze and pain, but Joy sucks the words in like fresh air, content to swallow them down and pretend that they were never spoken at all.


	2. Vienna

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was asked for Irene's POV, so here it is :)
> 
> Chapter title is from Vienna by The Fray, it has nothing to do with the chapter it was just the song I was listening to while writing it

It’s not like Irene hasn’t exactly noticed what’s going on around her. She’s far from oblivious, she knows all of her members inside and out. She knows that Seulgi is struggling to find her groove again. She knows that Yeri is still struggling with online comments. She knows that Joy is hopelessly in love with Wendy.

And she knows that Wendy is hopelessly in love with her.

She was stuck in a terrible position, someone got hurt no matter what she did. To avoid this, she decided to do nothing. She knew Wendy would realistically never tell her the truth about how she felt, so there really was no problem in feigning ignorance.

There wasn’t a problem until there was.

Joy had fallen harder, and she knew Wendy was selfishly using Joy for her own pleasure, and it was making her feel ill. Guilt settled in her stomach, bubbling each time she watched the younger swoon whenever Wendy gave her the slightest bit of attention. Irene felt guilt everyday, she couldn’t help but feel as though this was partly her fault. Maybe if she had just confronted Wendy earlier and forced out a confession, Wendy wouldn’t be selfishly leading Joy on. She was their leader, she was supposed to take care of her members.

But she was only hurting them.

The guilt ate away at her until she snapped, tired of the long sleepless nights and the raw lips from anxious biting. This needed to stop and she needed to stop it.

That’s how she ended up in the practice room, staring down at Wendy with a stoic expression, having just shattered her heart completely. It hurt her to see Wendy cry, but she needed to remind herself that Wendy brought this upon herself.

_ “Seungwan I know you have feelings for me, and I know that I don’t have them for you.” _

She had said it out of nowhere, in between short breaths after having gone through their latest choreography. Wendy had turned to her with an expression that was so unreadable, it hurt Irene’s brain apart to try and understand. She had said nothing, a rush of emotions overwhelming her at once and Irene just watched mercilessly. She didn’t have to say anything else for Wendy to understand the magnitude of what she had said. She watched as Wendy fell to the floor, trying to process the heartbreak she was feeling. 

Irene swallowed her own feelings on the situation as she cleared her throat, grabbing her belongings. She hesitated shortly, not convinced that this was the right thing to have done. She grit her teeth, trying to shove back the guilt she felt. The door was inches away from her, and she didn’t turn to face Wendy as she reached for the handle.

“Now that you understand how heartbreak feels, stop causing Sooyoung so much of it.”

Irene didn’t wait a second longer before leaving the practice room, wiping her eyes furiously as she walked off. It pained her to hurt one of her best friends so badly, these next few days, maybe even weeks, would be painfully awkward. 

_ I did the right thing. _

She told herself over and over, repeating the mantra under her breath again and again. She repeated it on the drive back to the dorm, in the shower, during dinner, when Wendy came home looking destroyed, when Joy didn’t come out of her room.

When she stayed awake to the sobs coming from Wendy’s room next to her rather than the one down the hall like so many nights before.

_ I did the right thing _ .


	3. Warning Sign

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wendy's POV on the aftermath, and making a difficult decision to let them heal.  
> Chapter Title from Warning Sign by Coldplay (I picture this being Wendy's general feelings on the situation so I recommend listening)
> 
> TW: Violence

Wendy was not one to dwell on the past if she didn’t have to, but sometimes you can’t avoid the lingering effects of your mistakes. Her lips were chewed raw and had you placed a step counter on her ankle, she would have walked miles just from the anxious bouncing her leg was doing. She didn’t want this, not in a million years did she ever think she would have to be doing this. But this was her atonement, this is how she solves the problems she's caused.

This is how she lets them heal.

~

_ No one was speaking, for the first time in their career no one was even speaking. Irene spent her days overworking herself, working closely with management to get them busy for another comeback. Joy spent most of her days out of the dorm, with her family and her dog as she tried to heal from her aching heart. Seulgi and Yeri spent most of their time at the studio or practicing, recognizing that this was not their battle and that they should stay away from it. As for Wendy… _

_ Wendy spent her days trying to fix this mess she created. _

_ But no amount of ‘I’m sorry’ would fix what she created. So she watched helplessly as they grew more and more distant. Joy refused to look at her or Irene, Irene refused to acknowledge they even existed, and Seulgi and Yeri always looked at them with pensive eyes and nervous expressions, hurrying off to avoid any conflict.  _

_ Tension was so thick, no one could breathe, and it was only a matter of time before it all bubbled over.  _

~

Wendy was deep in thought when a woman’s soft voice pulled her away from the thoughts running rampant.

“Ms. Son? He’s ready for you.”

Wendy stood and bowed nervously at the secretary, balling her fists to her side as the woman held the door and beckoned her to enter the office space. 

_ It’s now or never, Seungwan. _

Wendy wished it was never.

~

_ It all came to a head one horribly dreary Wednesday afternoon. Wendy was holed up in her room as usual, but she knew the other members were still in the dorm. This would be the first time in weeks that all of them were in the same location, and an unsettling feeling was stirring in her stomach.  _

_ The screaming started not long after. _

_ “WHY/ WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?” _

_ Wendy startled upon hearing Joy’s angry screaming, her heart lurching from the way the younger’s voice cracked. She wanted to rush out there, apologize to Joy and promise to never hurt her again, but when a second screaming voice joined the mix she halted all movement. _

_ “BECAUSE YOU WERE GETTING HURT!” _

_ Irene. Wendy’s stomach dropped as she heard the angry voice of her leader, of the woman she fell in love with. _

_ “YOU TOOK HER AWAY FROM ME!” _

_ Wendy was just about to reach for the doorknob to diffuse the fight when she froze. They were fighting about someone. _

_ They were fighting about her. _

_ “SHE WAS HURTING YOU! WAS I SUPPOSED TO SIT BACK AND LET YOU GET HURT BECAUSE OF ME?” _

_ She wanted to cover her ears, to scream at the top of her lungs and block it all out. She couldn’t do this, she couldn't listen to them fight because of her. She couldn’t listen to them fall apart because of her mistakes.  _

_ But she had to, and she should be the one to fix it. _

_ “AT LEAST SHE WAS GIVING ME SOMETHING, BECAUSE OF YOU SHE CAN’T EVEN LOOK AT ME!” _

_ Two doors opened simultaneously and footsteps rushed out, Wendy knew it was serious if Yeri and Seulgi were getting involved. She braced herself as she exited her room, stepping into the sidelines of the fray. _

_ “OH BOO FUCKING HOO SOOYOUNG, GROW UP AND STOP GETTING YOUR HEART BROKEN ITS GETTING OLD.” _

_ Irene was red in the face, her fists balled as she screamed the loudest and angriest they had ever heard her. Joy was in a similar state, face red with anger but also streaked with tears. Wendy’s heart cracked, those were tears of pain _

_ Joy was in pain and it was her fault. _

_ “FUCK YOU JOOHYUN.” _

_ Slap. _

_ Wendy watched as one of Irene’s slender hands moved with fury, colliding with Joy’s tearstained cheek with such force her head snapped to the side. The air was still immediately after, the argument reached its boiling point, and the tenseness that followed would stay with Wendy forever. Irene’s eyes widened in shock as she stared at Joy, the younger woman’s hand coming up to her cheek to make sure she really was slapped. Seulgi and Yeri stood at the far end of the living area, eyes just as wide and mouths hanging open. The silence was deafening, and Wendy didn’t realize she was holding her breath until Joy moved. Before any of them could stop her, she balled a fist and reared it back, plunging it forward and socking Irene in the face, her nose letting out a sickening crunch.  _

_ That’s when all hell broke loose. _

_ They started throwing punches and slaps at each other furiously, and the three bystanders could do nothing but watch as the seconds ticked by. It was nearly thirty seconds later before Seulgi came to her senses and lunged forward, Yeri following suit. Wendy stood rooted in her place, unable to comprehend the fact that two of her best friends were physically hurting each other all because of her. Yeri grabbed Joy and yanked her away, looping her arms between Joy’s and ensuring she wasn’t going anywhere. Seulgi grabbed irene from the waist, tugging her farther away and into her hold as the woman fought against her. _

_ Joy broke down within seconds, and yeri just shushed her gently, turning her around and hugging her tightly, trying desperately to calm her down. But Joy wasn’t having it, she shoved Yeri away, wasting no time in rushing to the front door and disappearing behind it, slamming it behind her. The silence took over once more, and now Yeri and Seulgi were focused on irene who was nursing a bruised and bloody nose. _

_ “Here unnie.” _

_ Seulgi handed her a cloth, watching with concerned eyes as irene hissed in pain upon the soft cloth meeting her nose. _

_ “You should get that looked at, it’s probably broken.” _

_ Irene didn’t say a word, but she didn’t pull away from Yeri’s gentle petting of her hair, leaning into the touch as she tried to steel her emotions. Wendy found herself unable to move still, tears streaming down her face as she tried to come to terms with what happened. Not a single glance was even thrown her way until two words escaped past her lips. _

_ “I’m sorry.” _

_ Irene shot her a menacing glare, but before she could say anything yeri hushed her and Seulgi shot her a sympathetic yet disappointed look. _

_ “Not now Seungwan-ah.” _

_ Wendy didn’t know what she expected, she nodded slowly as her feet started to move in the direction of her room. She didn’t know what the next few hours, or days, would look like, but she was sure she wouldn’t like them. Before she was fully out of view, she heard the ice cold voice of the one she loved most. _

_ “Seungwan.” _

_ Wendy turned around, she shouldn’t have but she did. Irene’s gaze full of hate chilled her heart, burning the wound with just how cold it felt. _

_ “It would be best if you weren’t around for a while.” _

_ “Of course unnie.” _

_ She tried not to cry as her heart broke for the second time, stuffing some of her belongings into a duffel before leaving the apartment. It was empty by the time she was leaving, the three off to the hospital to get Irene’s nose checked and Joy nowhere to be seen. She let the bitter taste of heartbreak fill her mouth as she shut the door behind her. _

_ She deserved this solitude, there really was no coming back from this. _

~

“Are you sure this is what you want?”

_ No, I want to stay. _

“Yes, positive.”

“Alright then, you have to sign a few documents, but after that you’re free to go. We’ll call a car to take you back to your dorm. Press will probably break soon after, I’m advising you out of the kindness of my heart to avoid it, don’t make a statement, don’t say a word.”

Wendy nodded wordlessly, she didn’t have much to say on the matter. Well, she had a whole lot to say, but had she opened her mouth she would’ve changed her mind and she cannot afford that.

_ They  _ cannot afford that.

The only indication of her emotional state was the way her hand shook as she signed her name across the many indicated lines. She wasn’t just signing her name on these documents, she was signing her finality. As she placed the pen down, she willed herself not to cry. She was given an unreadable smile as the papers were collected, and with a firm and quick handshake, she was being led from the office.

The car ride back to the dorm was a silent one, her manager not inquiring but giving her a few nervous side glances throughout the short drive. Wendy paid no mind, she was too busy willing herself to contain her emotions, at least until she was within the four walls of her bedroom. The dorm was completely empty when she arrived, and she didn’t know whether to be relieved or distraught. It wasn’t much of a surprise, Joy stayed with her family most days, Irene was with some of her older friends practically full time, and both Yeri and Seulgi couldn’t stomach the downfall and threw themselves into their work. She tried not to think about the vacancy in her heart as she shut her bedroom door and got to work, taking a long deep breath.

Within a few hours the girls would know, not just them, but the world as well. And she was right, headlines broke and spread like wildfire, fans going feral on the internet over the announcement. The girls would rush back to the empty apartment, left with nothing but a short note explaining why. Wendy didn’t know it, but this would draw them back together that night and onwards, taking solace in their shared pain.

She wiped her tears as the plane braced for takeoff, if only someday this could heal her heart too. For now, all she had were the headlines, and the emptiness that ate away at her already bleeding heart.

**_BREAKING: Red Velvet’s Wendy Reportedly Leaving SM Entertainment due to “Personal Reasons.”_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter to go, hopefully to clear the angst a little cause it's suffocating lol.


	4. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final installment describing life after Red Velvet.

After Wendy’s departure, Red Velvet continued on as a four person group. They stayed together for two more years, completing their contract and producing two mini albums and one full final album. Each copy of their last album came with the same photocard, a picture of all of them during pre-debut.

All five of them.

After their contract expired, the girls announced Red Velvet’s indefinite hiatus as they focused on their own career paths.

Joy and Irene both left the company shortly after their announcement. In the weeks following Wendy’s shocking departure, the two made up and bonded over their shared heartbreak, both bearing some of the responsibility for what happened. Seulgi and Yeri were hurt by the loss of one of their members, but they were glad that the four of them could move on and bounce back stronger than ever.

Joy left idolship to focus on her acting career, signing under a well known management and nabbing a few major roles. Soon enough, she was one of the most prevalent faces of Korean film and television, starring in hit after hit movie and series. She continued to be known by her stage name, not ready to part with that period of her life. Joy never fully got over Wendy, and she spent a long time trying to compensate for her emotions. But eventually, her and a male co-star began to date for publicity, and that fake relationship blossomed into one of love. Joy was able to move on and happily announce their engagement publicly.

Irene took a few months of vacation time to sort out what she wanted. She was in her thirties now, and idolship just no longer had an appeal to her. It took a few months before she was seen again, she dropped her stage name and began popping up on front pages of magazines and modeling for famous brands. She became a full time model, officially claiming the nickname ‘Original Visual’ as she had been called many times before. She dabbled in acting a bit, picking up some minor roles in television and eventually co-starring alongside Joy in an award winning film. The reunion was sweet, she never liked to admit that she missed her members dearly. Her love life was quiet, despite her age she decided that she was just better off single. She struggled to come to terms with her sexuality, and had little desire for romance. It’s still unclear to everyone whether or not Irene returned Wendy’s feelings.

Seulgi and Yeri remained under SM despite their group members departing. Seulgi decided to focus on her solo career and start choreographing, becoming one of the most prominent dancers in the industry. She occasionally put out singles and albums, but focused on choreographing dances for herself and other groups. Yeri decided to leave the spotlight for the most part, picking up music production instead. SM finally let her write and produce songs, some for herself and some for their groups. She’s even sold a few songs to other companies, and most of her productions are hits. She occasionally writes for Seulgi, and the two have created a subunit. They currently have two singles and are working on a mini album. As for love, Seulgi is single but open to the idea of romance, she just prefers to focus on her career. Yeri eventually came out to her friends and family, and settled down with a woman named Sang-Hee that she had met at her favorite coffee spot. 

As for Wendy, she left without warning, immediately flying back to Canada to be with her family. It took a year for Wendy to resurface and for fans to go wild. She had signed with a North American label to jump start her career there. She immediately broke records, topping charts left and right, collabing with popular artists, and becoming a well known name in the West. When the other heard of her success, they weren’t surprised. Seulgi and Yeri congratulated Wendy both publicly and privately. They had been communicating back and forth infrequently, just checking in on each other. Joy and Irene, while proud of Wendy, never reached out. Wendy’s love life stayed relatively the same, she vowed never to hurt someone again and decided against dating, but occasional one night stands were not out of the question. She missed the girls dearly, and she wished nothing more than to apologize to the two she hurt the most, but they had no contact with one another.

At least not until Wendy received the invitation in the mail.

She sat in her living room, reading the invitation over and over again and making sure it was addressed to her. But she knew it was, she’d recognize Joy’s handwriting anywhere.

_ You are cordially invited to the wedding of Park Sooyoung and Han Dae-Jung. _

Wendy read the line over and over again, Joy was getting married. Joy had moved on.

Joy was happy, and she deserved to be.

Wendy set the letter down and slammed her fourth shot back, cringing at the taste. She wasn’t sure if the bitter taste was truly from the alcohol.

But she was sure that her heart broke for the third time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed (and didn't get your hearts too broken lol)1


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